(The frum--or should I say, yeshivish?--girls' version, with apologies to Marc Shaiman.)
MOTHER #1
Don't contradict me!
MOTHER #2
Don't disobey me!
SHADCHAN
Don't even think about walking out of the house looking like that.
SURI, BAILA & CHAIKY
Please!
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
No!
3 GIRLS
Mommy!!!!
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Stop!
SURI
Stop telling me what to do
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Don't!
BAILA
Don't treat me like a child of two
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
No!
CHAIKY
I know that you want what's best
MOMMIES + SHADCHAN
Please!
CHAIKY
But mother, please,
GIRLS
Give it a rest!!!
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Mama, I'm a big girl now!
CHAIKY
I feel like you still treat me like I’m just a kid
You never let me do just what the married girls did
But lose that laundry list of what you won't allow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now!
SURI
Once upon a time I used to play with toys
But now I go on dates with yeshiva boys
So, if I leave the house without permission, please don't have a cow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
BAILA
Ma, I gotta tell you that without a doubt
I got my best primping lessons from you
But once in awhile, I just gotta get out--
And if my hair’s not blown,
I’m still a good Jew!
Wo -oh -oh -oh -oh
CHAIKY
Once I used to fidget
'Cause I just sat home
SURI
But now I’m going stir-crazy
And you gotta let me roam!
BAILA
So say, tzeiseich l’shalom!
CHAIKY
Toodle-loo!
SURI
And ciao!
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
GIRLS
Mama, I’m a big girl now
(hey mama, say mama)
CHAIKY
Once upon a time I could wear just anything
Could dress up or down and nobody would say a thing
Won't you burn your list of clothing I must disavow?
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I'm a big girl now
SURI
Wo - oh - oh - oh - oh
Once upon a time you used to threaten me
If I ate too much then no one would marry me
But I have an extra ice cream, don’t call me a cow
GIRLS
'Cause mama, I'm a big girl now
GIRLS
Ma, you always taught me
What was right from wrong
Did I ever give you reason to cry?
Mama, I've been in the nest for far too long
So please give a push and Mama watch me fly
SURI
Watch me fly
GIRLS Hey, mama, say mama
BAILA
Someday I will meet a boy
You won't condemn
SURI
Iy”H we’ll have some kids
And you can coddle them
CHAIKY
But let me breathe a little
Before I take that vow
GIRLS
'Cause Mama, I’m a big girl now
BAILA
Oh - Oh - Oh
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl now
SURI
Hey - Hey - Hey
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl
SURI
Ooh, such a big, big girl!
GIRLS
I'm a big girl now
ALL
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
Stop! Don't! No! Please!
GIRLS
Mama, I'm a big girl now!!!
Original Lyrics found here.
Original Song here, it's Song #3 on the Jukebox.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Friday, January 04, 2008
Pride goeth before a fall...
...or does it?
All too often, I find myself in unpleasant situations that are entirely preventable. My difficulty is entirely my own doing. And often, all it would take to get out of the situation is to ask for help...which I stubbornly refuse to do. I would rather deal with the unpleasant repercussions of my own poor (or entire lack of) planning, judgment, etc., rather than ask someone to bail me out at the 11th hour.
As you can imagine, this stubborn tendency often lands me in positions I'd rather not be in, like when I spend Shabbos alone in my apartment rather than wrack my brains for people who might be bothered to take me in on Thursday night, and then suffer the embarrassment of calling and begging. Do I like to spend Shabbos alone in my apartment? No, it's lonely and depressing. But somewhere in my crazy logic, it still beats out "imposing" on someone at the last minute. I'd rather clean up my own messes than ask. Because of course, even if someone graciously did agree to adopt me for Shabbos, it would still be an imposition--maybe they said yes because they felt badly, but they really wouldn't have wanted me over; maybe it will strain their budget or they'll have to shop for more food. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I'd rather deal with the certainty of my own lack of responsibility than the host of "maybes" that asking would bring.
Another example: transportation. I absolutely hate having to ask people for rides. I hate being dependent on other people to get places. So wherever and whenever possible, I will take buses and subways and whatever other forms of public transportation necessary to get where I need to go. [One exception: Monsey on a Sunday. It's such a royal pain in the neck to get there that I will ask anyone I know who's driving for a ride without shame.] This sometimes leads me to take subways at hours when normal people who are concerned for my welfare and safety would rather I spend $40 on a cab [*snort* - cuz I can afford that?] than take the train. Ask for a ride--are you kidding me? Why should someone else have to drive me all the way home (and it's a trip!) just because I was stupid enough to stay out so late? I made my bed and now I have to lie in it; it's as simple as that.
Recently, when asked to sum me up in a word, someone termed me "independent". Although I acknowledged the truth of this analysis of my personality at the time, since then I have noticed it more and more. And while independence can be a good trait, as you can see, it also has this nasty flip side. My need to be independent holds me back and trips me up, leads me to do things that are not in my best interest [e.g., taking the subway at ungodly hours and spending Shabbos alone], all because I just can't ask someone for a favor. I can't impose.
Now, you might say to me, "But Scraps, you would go out of your way to help someone who needed a favor. You've taken in people on last-minute notice, things like that. So what's the big deal about asking someone else to do the same thing for you?"
You know what the difference is?
I don't think I'm worth it.
All too often, I find myself in unpleasant situations that are entirely preventable. My difficulty is entirely my own doing. And often, all it would take to get out of the situation is to ask for help...which I stubbornly refuse to do. I would rather deal with the unpleasant repercussions of my own poor (or entire lack of) planning, judgment, etc., rather than ask someone to bail me out at the 11th hour.
As you can imagine, this stubborn tendency often lands me in positions I'd rather not be in, like when I spend Shabbos alone in my apartment rather than wrack my brains for people who might be bothered to take me in on Thursday night, and then suffer the embarrassment of calling and begging. Do I like to spend Shabbos alone in my apartment? No, it's lonely and depressing. But somewhere in my crazy logic, it still beats out "imposing" on someone at the last minute. I'd rather clean up my own messes than ask. Because of course, even if someone graciously did agree to adopt me for Shabbos, it would still be an imposition--maybe they said yes because they felt badly, but they really wouldn't have wanted me over; maybe it will strain their budget or they'll have to shop for more food. Maybe, maybe, maybe. I'd rather deal with the certainty of my own lack of responsibility than the host of "maybes" that asking would bring.
Another example: transportation. I absolutely hate having to ask people for rides. I hate being dependent on other people to get places. So wherever and whenever possible, I will take buses and subways and whatever other forms of public transportation necessary to get where I need to go. [One exception: Monsey on a Sunday. It's such a royal pain in the neck to get there that I will ask anyone I know who's driving for a ride without shame.] This sometimes leads me to take subways at hours when normal people who are concerned for my welfare and safety would rather I spend $40 on a cab [*snort* - cuz I can afford that?] than take the train. Ask for a ride--are you kidding me? Why should someone else have to drive me all the way home (and it's a trip!) just because I was stupid enough to stay out so late? I made my bed and now I have to lie in it; it's as simple as that.
Recently, when asked to sum me up in a word, someone termed me "independent". Although I acknowledged the truth of this analysis of my personality at the time, since then I have noticed it more and more. And while independence can be a good trait, as you can see, it also has this nasty flip side. My need to be independent holds me back and trips me up, leads me to do things that are not in my best interest [e.g., taking the subway at ungodly hours and spending Shabbos alone], all because I just can't ask someone for a favor. I can't impose.
Now, you might say to me, "But Scraps, you would go out of your way to help someone who needed a favor. You've taken in people on last-minute notice, things like that. So what's the big deal about asking someone else to do the same thing for you?"
You know what the difference is?
I don't think I'm worth it.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
525,600 - 2007 in Review
"Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes;
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes--how
Do you measure, measure a year?"
--"Seasons of Love", Rent
It's been a busy year, during which there have been far too many blogging breaks and apologies and half-sincere resolutions to post more often. I don't intentionally neglect my blog; it's just that sometimes I can't come up with ideas of what to post about and other times what I wish I could blog about is just unblogable. [Should that have one "g" or two? Hmmm.] Still, it being January 2nd, I figured it's a good way to start the year.
This year I got a new computer at work, wondered why people don't take the mitzvah of "kedoshim ti'hiyu" more seriously, had a crazy chavayah for the Pesach seder, managed to break through my writer's block at Patches of Poetry on an intermittent basis, and made it to the finals at the JIB's. I pondered moving on, prompting a slight scare that I was retiring from blogging, but by which I really meant I was reconsidering what sort of things I post about. I discussed my inability to take a compliment, took a painful walk down memory lane, and took a walk down Manhattan that was many miles long. I turned myself inside-out for all to see, blogged about the importance of having a rav, rebbetzin, or mentor in your life, experienced some crazy mood swings, and reflected on my year since the past Rosh Hashana. I had a whirlwind of a time over the chagim, spending no two yamim tovim in the same place and having a great time wherever I went. I considered how I view my family, particularly my parents, and how my attitude towards my family has changed over the years. I wrote about sunshine and shadows and how we perceive our place and others', and got off track--and back on again--at the end of the year.
But more than any of the various things that have gone on this year, I really feel like this year was a year of friends. Over the course of this year, I have met so many incredible people, all of whom have enriched my life immeasurably.
"It's time now, to sing out,
cuz the story never ends.
Let's celebrate, remember a year
in the life of friends!"
--"Seasons of Love", Rent
I owe this year to all of you.
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand moments so dear.
Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes--how
Do you measure, measure a year?"
--"Seasons of Love", Rent
It's been a busy year, during which there have been far too many blogging breaks and apologies and half-sincere resolutions to post more often. I don't intentionally neglect my blog; it's just that sometimes I can't come up with ideas of what to post about and other times what I wish I could blog about is just unblogable. [Should that have one "g" or two? Hmmm.] Still, it being January 2nd, I figured it's a good way to start the year.
This year I got a new computer at work, wondered why people don't take the mitzvah of "kedoshim ti'hiyu" more seriously, had a crazy chavayah for the Pesach seder, managed to break through my writer's block at Patches of Poetry on an intermittent basis, and made it to the finals at the JIB's. I pondered moving on, prompting a slight scare that I was retiring from blogging, but by which I really meant I was reconsidering what sort of things I post about. I discussed my inability to take a compliment, took a painful walk down memory lane, and took a walk down Manhattan that was many miles long. I turned myself inside-out for all to see, blogged about the importance of having a rav, rebbetzin, or mentor in your life, experienced some crazy mood swings, and reflected on my year since the past Rosh Hashana. I had a whirlwind of a time over the chagim, spending no two yamim tovim in the same place and having a great time wherever I went. I considered how I view my family, particularly my parents, and how my attitude towards my family has changed over the years. I wrote about sunshine and shadows and how we perceive our place and others', and got off track--and back on again--at the end of the year.
But more than any of the various things that have gone on this year, I really feel like this year was a year of friends. Over the course of this year, I have met so many incredible people, all of whom have enriched my life immeasurably.
"It's time now, to sing out,
cuz the story never ends.
Let's celebrate, remember a year
in the life of friends!"
--"Seasons of Love", Rent
I owe this year to all of you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
